character and plot

In time the last pod came and the last pea went and I stood, brushed my skirts off, stretched and walked a few paces away from the homestead. Strange to know that there were trees out there as far as the eye could have seen – if not for that thick fog fallen across the world like a curtain.

A sound – metallic – out there in the unseen. I froze – ears straining into the gloom – eyes scanning uselessly

Being in your own company in a sunny garden with a deep well makes for power, but being alone in the gloom with unfamiliar sounds and a deep foreboding makes the blood run cold.

They say I’m pretty.

Sometimes that is not a good thing.

There – a tall shape formed from the swirling mist – a man! Rough clothes – weapon strapped to back. His face emerged as he strode towards me – a stranger. Scar from brow to chin – long healed. Eyes fit to flay a soul to the bone.

A shiver pushed through me – not from cold, and I hugged myself as he moved closer, and closer, and stopped – two short paces away – expressionless.

Pa taught me some stuff – about boys and their ways – I had felt shamed. He gifted me something else before he left for war – something sharp and wicked. I’d kept it honed and my fingers now closed about the familiar handle.

One more step – too close and close enough. A perfect arc – pa would have been proud.

He stood motionless forever. I saw his mouth start to open but his throat won the race.

Dark days birth dark deeds and the blood of a stranger is a better companion than sorrow.

6 thoughts on “character and plot

  1. This is a comment from Desislava Sivilova on the Future Learn forum (permission obtained)
    Robert, that’s a great story! You’ve managed to say so much in so few words – I’m in awe, really 🙂
    I very much liked your style, the elliptic sentences, the pauses – it all creates a very dramatic effect. And the ending is so ingenious – you never directly state what happens, yet there can be no doubt.
    I’ve always been fascinated by really short short stories, and yours is a perfect example of how much one can do with a few words, if chosen – and structured – correctly. Thanks for the wonderful read!

    Like

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