The Twelve Olympians

Wanna know how to create a whole new, wacky universe? Just follow these easy to follow steps that I just made up off the top of my pretty little head and before you know it, you will be the proud owner of something completely different.

The steps:

  1. Find a totally unbogus world to use as your baseline. Here, we will take The Twelve Olympians. Note the subtle change I have made to the description: “The most important goddesses and gods in the Greek geek pantheon.” See what I did there? Yes – I’m going to populate a geek heaven. Yay!
  2. Oh, and you might want to change the title to something like The Twelve Geeklians (or something like that).
  3. Next up is to find yourself a list of the names of the denizens of the original world. Wikipedia helpfully lists them as “Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Demeter, Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Ares, Aphrodite, Hephaestus, Hermes and either Hestia or Dionysus.”
  4. Then you’ll need to find some new names. I choose to make mine rhyme with the originals, but you could use anything you like, so long as the new names are kind of funny, and they kind of fit in with the values and ethics of the new universe. To get the rhymes I used RhymeZone, which is a searchable rhyming dictionary. My results are:
  • (Old Name New Name – Justification)
    • Zeus Dr. Seuss – because he is the true god of all of geekdom
    • Hera Madeira – because it is a cool and geek-like word for cake
    • Poseidon Widen – because geeks who eat Madeira (the cake that is) will inevitably get wider
    • Demeter Heater – because geeks don’t dig being cold?
    • Athena Ballerina – because all geeks were made to do geeky things by their parents
    • Apollo Wallow – because what geek does not like to wallow in success (and bed (and chocolate (and superfluous brackets)))
    • Artemis Artlessness – because geeks hang out in their own crowd and think of other crowds as being artless
    • Ares Caries – because geeks might want to get out of their head every now and again and drop an acid tab. (turns out though that LSD doesn’t rot your teeth – it’s a myth)
    • Aphrodite Tighty–whities – because geeks aren’t always the most clued up people when it comes to fashionable clothing
    • Hephaestus (absolutely no words rhyme with this on RhymeZone) Festus (well how come I could find one then?) – because it sounds a bit geeky, alright?
    • Hermes Furrys – because geeks may not shave as often as other people (and yes, I’m talking about both of the two main genders here)
    • Dionysus Biogenous (producing or produced by living things) – because it’s getting late and I need to get on with life here man!

I can’t figure out how to get WordPress to resume the numbering at #4 so that’ll have to do for now. I may add more steps when the software gets an upgrade, but hey – you get the basic idea – right? All you need to do now is find and twist your own new universe.

No, you can’t steal mine!

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52 thoughts on “The Twelve Olympians

    • My humour is something that comes up a lot. I wonder sometimes if I could write without it. It just seems to bubble up out of me and into the words. Sometimes I feel more like a bubble bath than a real boy!
      How’s your day going Jennie? Is the sky blue in your far away American world?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Write from your soul, and if there is humor there, that’s cool. You do that! Yes, the sky is big and blue here. I’m in New England, so we are a cooler part of most of America. Great now, not so great in the winter. Where are you? Apologies, as I should remember that.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Hi Jennie. It’s odd (but not so odd) that you should be telling me to write from my soul, because I just finished writing a message on your blog telling you that I write from my heart (or words to that effect). Such a beautiful example of the old adage: great minds think alike. It may well be that we two are in a state of harmony at the moment – long may it last. 🙂
        I am in York, which is a city of around 200,000 people in the north of England – about 2 hours on the train from London. As I type this I wonder if I’m giving too much detail, and yet at the same time I’m just doing what my heart tells me to do. Do you ever have the feeling that it’s not your fingers doing the writing, nor is it your own mind, but that the words are coming from elsewhere and that you just need to be the perfect conduit to let them flow through more easily. This involves being clean and pure of heart. Ah, if only I were clean and pure of heart! I feel sometimes that I am an impediment to beauty. And yet – I keep on pushing the nonsense out of the way over and over again in the hope that something good will be able to come out of me.
        But listen to me – all this me, me, me. What about you, Jennie – New England always seemed to me to have a nice ring to me. Did you ever listen to the lyrics to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCfRcgoPxTw Listen for the reference to ‘New England’ 😀
        There is a prettier version of the song by Kirsty MacColl if you don’t like the rather dull, nasal quality of Billy’s voice.
        Right, that’s quite enough from me.
        Kindness – Robert.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I’ve already made my own Universe but it’s not a goofy one. I could do that if I wanted to, though. I read about Madeira being a cake and I said to myself… huh? I thought Madeira was wine. So, of course, I went to Google. Yup, Madeira is indeed wine BUT it’s also a cake. We were both right. How often does that happen?

    I love your Geeky Universe idea. Reminds me of some of the weird fantasy stories I have read. The Zanth Universe made by Piers Anthony comes to mind. He made up so pretty funny things in his universe. It was great fun to read those books and since he is apparently still writing them, I imagine it still is. I might have to look those up. If anyone wants to know where the name “Zanth” came from, just say “Piers Anthony” and you will hear Zanth where the first and last name run together.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey now – that is a fun fact that I did not know! Thanks for that Orpha. It’s funny when you say that we are both right and then you implied that it does not happen often. I kind of always had the impression that we are always, both of us, right simultaneously. S’funny how one’s perception practices to deceive. 🙂
      I enjoyed his Incarnations of Immortality series, but mainly for the auto-biographical chapter he always slipped in at the end. Fascinating guy. And yes, he is still going – he is 81. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What a fine Geekdom! Uber creative to say the least. That first paragraph makes it sound like a piece of cake but this is some serious display of wit! They should bottle you up and sell you in stores. You’re one wild wacky wordsmith and plenty could use a dose of you. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I concede that we are both right more often than not. I was happy to share that funny fact about Zanth with you. I am still going to look up his books. 81 huh? That sounds about right. Maybe I am NOT too old to write after all. One of my other friends said that I was. Oddly enough his name is Robert as well. I guess it’s a common enough name. And the other Robert doesn’t have your wonderful sense of humor and we disagree about nearly everything. He once told me I wouldn’t understand the current technology of tablet computers but turns out the goofball doesn’t even know how to run a smartphone and is totally tech unsavvy. Maybe he should have said HE didn’t understand tablet computers. LOL Oh, and that’s because I want to write a story where a tablet is the villain of the story. Sounds fun to me. Don’t ask me how a tablet can be a villain. After all, you have a bar of chocolate who wants to be… I think… memory or some such. LOL

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s one of those things about life – we seem to judge others by our own standards and our own level of knowledge. Just because he (the other Robert) did not know about tablets, he assumed that you did not too. It makes me wonder how wonderful life might be if we could open up our minds and look further out than our own back doorstep.
      A story where a tablet is a villain – now that sounds interesting. I suppose that there are 2 ways to go there: one where the tablet is sentient (either due to advanced technology or possession) or (two) the tablet is really not the villain, but people are making it thus due to their own perceptions and pre-conceptions about … technology and stuff. Like, for example, this person I used to work with swore that the (poor innocent) photocopier was out to get her because it always mangled her copying job (it always worked fine for me though).
      It is my opinion (humble or otherwise) that you are eminently suited to write this story – and your age has no bearing on the matter at all. You are tech savvy, smart as a whip, willing and capable of learning, expressive and capable with language and you have so much love for the written form.
      Have I ever thanked you for your friendship and the support you have shown me? I think I have not. Orpha – thank you very much for … everything. I know I haven’t shared even 1% of you about all the things in my life in the same, beguiling and lovely way that you have, and yet … I must have said something! Oh, Orpha, what do I tell you? I feel now that I’ve just been writing nonsense in response to your kind messages. I’m so sorry. I’ll be better from now on – I promise. I’m just a bundle of opinions and platitudes, but with your help, perhaps I can become a real person.
      Kindly – Robert.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think that the support and friendship runs both ways. At least it feels that way to me. And I don’t at all mind your tongue in cheek posts. I usually spot them right away and enjoy them. I think you are a real person just as you are.
        My idea is that the tablet is not an innocent little copy machine that gets blamed for other people’s mishandling. Nope… this sucker is sentient and is, perhaps, up to no good at all. I have posted a fragment of my story on my own blog. https://wordpress.com/post/orpha2.wordpress.com/247 That might give you a bit of an idea about what direction I am heading.

        Liked by 2 people

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