You know, it’s tricky writing with someone looking over your shoulder, but – needs must. I’d much rather she continue with her meal and leave me to get on with writing, but she asked me so nicely, if she could stay, that I just couldn’t say no.
It’s a funny thing about having another pair of eyes watching the words as they emerge – it’s almost as if they stop being my words, and become a shared experience. If feels like being on a stage and trying not to stutter as I say my lines. One other concern is that it takes me twice as long to type everything. You must have observed the same phenomenon yourself – the keys seem to move – the slippery little beggars, and you have to type the same word several times before you get it right.
So, where was I? Ah yes – typing about an experience. Well, as you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m typing about the experience of trying to type, whilst being watched by an, as yet unknown, person. Shall I introduce her? Maybe later. Oh, I’m also trying to vary the pronoun I use as I do this.
As I look back, I can see that I have used the pronouns you, she, I and her. Actually, I should confess that I’m not at all sure what a pronoun is. I mean – I did my research, obviously, but not very much of it. It’s much easier for me (there’s another one – another pronoun, that is) to just write rather than piddle about with research. Yeah, yeah – I know that’s a flaw I need to address. But for now – this is where I’m at.
There was something else I was going to say. Hang on a sec while I read back. Oh yes – that was it – the word ‘her’ was suggested, quite appropriately I think, by her. That was the pronoun I was not sure about. If any of you kind people reading this want to tell me that ‘her’ is not a pronoun, then I have a ready-made excuse. Yay! I would insert an emoticon here normally, but I’m not sure if it is allowed in such a … (what’s the word now?) … formal document as this (yes – I’m being sarcastic).
Let’s see, we have 380 words on that clock so that leaves about a hundred and something words to go before I reach the cutoff point of 500. What should I tell you now? I’ve quite run out of steam all of a sudden. Oh, wait – I know – I was going to tell you about ‘her’.
Well, let me give her the opportunity to introduce herself in her own words. She’s sat by me, in a chair set at an angle to this screen. She could, theoretically read these words, but I just asked her and she says that she is not reading them – just watching me write. Oh, wait – she leant forward – she’s on to me. Right – this is the question I am going to ask (and I can guess right now what she is going to say) – ‘who are you?’
Oh, she’s giggling nervously now. Her first words are “I have to answer? You can’t write about me. I don’t exist.” Shall I repeat the question? No. I’m going to leave it at that. So, dear reader – is she right? Does she exist? And if she does not, then how was she able to tell me that? Or did I make that up too?