Is She Is Or Is She Ain’t?

You know, it’s tricky writing with someone looking over your shoulder, but – needs must. I’d much rather she continue with her meal and leave me to get on with writing, but she asked me so nicely, if she could stay, that I just couldn’t say no.

It’s a funny thing about having another pair of eyes watching the words as they emerge – it’s almost as if they stop being my words, and become a shared experience. If feels like being on a stage and trying not to stutter as I say my lines. One other concern is that it takes me twice as long to type everything. You must have observed the same phenomenon yourself – the keys seem to move – the slippery little beggars, and you have to type the same word several times before you get it right.

So, where was I? Ah yes – typing about an experience. Well, as you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m typing about the experience of trying to type, whilst being watched by an, as yet unknown, person. Shall I introduce her? Maybe later. Oh, I’m also trying to vary the pronoun I use as I do this.

As I look back, I can see that I have used the pronouns you, she, I and her. Actually, I should confess that I’m not at all sure what a pronoun is. I mean – I did my research, obviously, but not very much of it. It’s much easier for me (there’s another one – another pronoun, that is) to just write rather than piddle about with research. Yeah, yeah – I know that’s a flaw I need to address. But for now – this is where I’m at.

There was something else I was going to say. Hang on a sec while I read back. Oh yes – that was it – the word ‘her’ was suggested, quite appropriately I think, by her. That was the pronoun I was not sure about. If any of you kind people reading this want to tell me that ‘her’ is not a pronoun, then I have a ready-made excuse. Yay! I would insert an emoticon here normally, but I’m not sure if it is allowed in such a … (what’s the word now?) … formal document as this (yes – I’m being sarcastic).

Let’s see, we have 380 words on that clock so that leaves about a hundred and something words to go before I reach the cutoff point of 500. What should I tell you now? I’ve quite run out of steam all of a sudden. Oh, wait – I know – I was going to tell you about ‘her’.

Well, let me give her the opportunity to introduce herself in her own words. She’s sat by me, in a chair set at an angle to this screen. She could, theoretically read these words, but I just asked her and she says that she is not reading them – just watching me write. Oh, wait – she leant forward – she’s on to me. Right – this is the question I am going to ask (and I can guess right now what she is going to say) – ‘who are you?’

Oh, she’s giggling nervously now. Her first words are “I have to answer? You can’t write about me. I don’t exist.” Shall I repeat the question? No. I’m going to leave it at that. So, dear reader – is she right? Does she exist? And if she does not, then how was she able to tell me that? Or did I make that up too?

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5 thoughts on “Is She Is Or Is She Ain’t?

  1. The cat saunters up behind you on the sofa as you type with your laptop. She leans down, gives your right ear a little sniff and sits back on her haunches to observe. As you type, she begins to purr and as you hesitate, she reaches out gives your shoulder a little swat. Of course she exists… it’s only the conversation you imagine. It’s those wide green eyes, so intelligent and expressive that make you think she’s reading and appreciating … when really she wishes you’d just move that damn thing with the screen so she can curl up on your lap already…

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