“Hello, Chuck – sorry I’m late – what’s up!”
“Nothing. Just sat on the platform, waiting for God. You know.”
“Waiting for who? I thought you were waiting for me?”
“Yes, my dear.”
“Look, I’m only an hour late, what’s your problem?”
“Nothing. I just – ”
“If it’s nothing, what you got the mug on for, then? Did you think I’d been got by terrorists?”
“Well, there’s always the possibility.”
“Nah, not me, mate – I’m fireproof I am! What you got there?”
“Well, this is the Fortnum’s Celebratory Chocolate Salted Caramel Layered Cake.”
“Is it indeed! What’s it got in it?”
“Well, according to the box it has – ”
“Give it here!”
“Darling – do be careful, it’s rather delicate.”
“A fresh chocolate sponge layered with decadent salted caramel and pieces of buttery shortbread biscuit. Ooo – I don’t know if I’ll like it!”
“Well, it’s not actually for -”
“For eating now? It’s alright, I’ll just have a small piece.”
“What? No! It’s -”
“Oh, stop fussing – look, the box is open already!”
“I know, but -”
“Just a teensy slice to keep me going until tea. You got a knife?”
“Oh God!”
“No? I’ll just have to use my hand then won’t I!”
“Give it back to me – now!”
“Hey up – what you doing? You give me a cake and then try to snatch it back? Rude!”
“Oh God, oh God, oh God -”
“See – my fingernails are as sharp as anything!”
“- oh God, oh God, oh God.”
“Here, what’s this? There’s something hard inside it?”
“Allahu Akbar -”
“Blooming heck, why’s this cake got wires inside it and … what did you just say?”
“- Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar -”
“Fricking hell, Mo – this cake’s ticking!!”
“- Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar -”
“Jesus fricking Christ!!”
“- Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar -”
“Shut up for a sec, will you? How long have I got?”
“Three seconds. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar -”
“That’ll do me. Yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, ya -”
Just my luck the chocolate cake wold be a bomb 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! Such a waste of good chocolate cake – yes? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
And salted caramel — a travesty!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not a fan of salted sweets tbh. Each to his own. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
How I got the good news: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/24/arts/bill-muray-mark-twain-prize.html 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny!
LikeLiked by 1 person
But synchronous – right? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What!! you tempt me ( cake lover ) with such a yummy cake and then you blast it 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sigh – yes. Sorry, Chitra! But hey – at least she got three seconds to enjoy it! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
umm…
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess if you’re on your way to blowing up, you might as well die with a mouthful of chocolate cake!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Can’t think of a finer way to go! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yipes! Blow that cake!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a waste of good cake! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! She should totally have shared it with us! 😉
LikeLike