Okay, we’re going to play Guess The Book. Here are three alternative beginnings I wrote to a rather famous tome. See if you can guess which fine piece of literature I’m paying homage to here:
Mr and Mrs Dursley were sitting down to a nice cup of tea in the living room of number four, Privet Drive when the dragon peeked in through the window, it’s golden-flecked eye the size of a particularly large serving platter. Mrs Dursley’s tea cup danced briefly in the saucer, and Mr Dursley shuddered visibly, the flesh under his chin wobbling comically as he did so. “Nice day for it,” he remarked, and Mrs Dursley essayed as smile as weak as her tea as she pretended to examine a particularly interesting part of the flock wallpaper.
Gallimar was a dragon with an interesting line in wit. Having heard that Mr and Mrs Dursley had no truck with anything strange or peculiar, he decided to pay them a visit. As he swooped down upon number four, Privet Drive, he chuckled deeply, causing the old geezer at number ten to curse those ‘goddam kids on scooters’ for the seventh time that week. Gallimar landed lightly on the lawn and brought his eye close the kitchen window. Damn – no-one in. He writhed himself over to the living room and … yes – there they were – the Dursleys. He winked at them, a sweet smile sweeping across his face, only to be totally ignored! Crestfallen, he briefly considered taking his talons to the roof, but no. There was Harry to consider. For now.
“Okay dive, you guys, let’s rip that house apart!”
“You sure we got the right place, this time, numbnuts?”
“Yeah, yeah – number four, Privet Drive – we checked it out on Muggle Maps already. Rip it up!”
Wings back, they screamed down towards the house, claws forward, hair streaming in the wind, an evil blotch against blue sky getting closer and closer to the target. Snarls erupted from throats. Images of the Dursleys torn asunder. Blood spurting from neck and belly. Limbs strewn …
“Abort, abort – there’s a frickin’ dragon in the garden!!”
Wheeling violently about, they fled upwards, quickly becoming shrinking pustules on the face of the sun.
(cute image borrowed from: https://www.hp-lexicon.org/creature/reptiles-and-amphibians/moke/)