Disappointment

I have a deep rooted fear of disappointing people. Can anyone reading this suggest to me ways of overcoming this, please?

The reason that I ask is that I am disappointing people left right and centre at the moment and this is leaving me very unhappy.

I can see three broad options:

  1. Remain true to me and hence continue to disappoint people
  2. Remove myself from situations where I am a disappointment
  3. Change myself so that I am what other people want me to be.

None of them seems to offer much in terms of happiness.

Any ideas, please?

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16 thoughts on “Disappointment

  1. omg honey hurt my heart for you to read this…Never change to be what anyone else wants you to be! And yes always stay true to yourself! The people that love you will want you to follow where your own heart and mind will lead you…truly others opinions of you should be none of your business. as far as I know this is the only life we get Robert you need to do what is best for you what makes you well you! I would miss you if you changed! You are perfectly Robert C. Day and really what could be better than that?! If others are disappointed they will need to get past it and deal with it. its not really fair of them to make you feel less than…just my opinion my friend XO!!

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  2. We only disappoint people when we have the need to please them. No one can ever please everyone all of the time, so there is a lot of room for others to be upset with our ways or decisions. Wanting to please people so much that we feel we always disappoint them comes from a root of previous rejection. Never change who you are for others. Pleasing others is a good feeling. We all want to be accepted, but when there is too much focus on people pleasing then it is easy to see them disappointed. Shift your focus on healing whatever sense of rejection you feel regarding yourself. It might take some work but it is worth it. Also remember that you can not every please everyone all of the time. If people around you are not happy with you ever, then it is time to find new people. Sometimes the closest ones to us are never pleased no matter what we do. Be who you are first, love yourself first, and you will begin to attract those who like you the way you are. Be confident that your life is not dependent on others opinions of you. You are your own person and amazing just the way you are!

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  3. I think a combination of one and two makes sense to me. I guess you have to focus on the fact that you cannot be responsible for everyone else’s happiness. Some people will always find fault and you cant control their disappointment. You have to believe in yourself.

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  4. Oh, Robert…. it sounds like you’re going to make yourself unhappy trying to please others. That’s ultimately a recipe for disaster. Perhaps, communicating your position will help? If others have unrealistic expectations or make demands of you that are unreasonable then you need to make that known. I’m sorry Robert, that you feel this way. It’s a very frustrating and discouraging feeling. Sending love 💕

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  5. To thine own self be true!
    If you try to please everyone, you lose who you are and end up pleasing no one. I like you just the way you are. I’m sorry you are feeling all frustrated and discouraged. If you are pleased with what you are doing, that’s the most important thing.
    I know I’ve been quiet lately but my life has become quite busy and complicated. I will try to do better.

    BIG HUGS,
    Orpha

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  6. We want to please adults as children . As we grow up , we want others to please us ! Liking or loving someone from a position of strength and self knowledge bestows responsibility , we try to show others why they are unhappy . Usually the cause is within them , not you ! Just like how you have to change to become happy, they have to change for their own happiness, frankly it is not in your hands at all…

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  7. How do you measure ‘disappointing people’..? Are they actually saying ‘Robert, you are disappointing me.’..? If they aren’t are you actually disappointing them or are you deriving from some other way that you are? I’m just wondering how much of this is reality and how much of it is imagination…? And you do have a pretty active one at that, I mean, in a good way… ~pie~

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  8. Disappointment’s a real bitch. It can sting like a poisonous injection. But you have all the power you need within yourself, don’t forget that! I’ve just finished a piece about dealing with disappointments and I hope it’s a helpful one! Keep on going at it, you’ll get there 🙂

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