Tom: Okay, stop right there, don’t say another word!
Liz: I’m, erm, not sure I can, not right now.
Tom: Why ever not. Just put it down and –
Liz: It’s because the … oh, what do you call it?
Tom: The thermometer?
Liz: No. You know – the thing that measures hot and cold.
Tom: Yes – the thermometer!
Liz: Doesn’t that measure the weather. Ooo listen, I’m a poet.
Tom: No. It measures … Anyway – put it down.
Tom: Yes – that.
Liz: Well, if I do then surely –
Tom: Oh give it here. There. It’s on the table!
Liz: Well, if you say so, dear.
Tom: What other possible interpretation can there be?
Liz: Well, it could have rolled and fallen on the floor.
Tom: Then you would have heard it!
Liz: No, not with a carpet like this. It would have made no sound.
Tom: Carpet? What carpet? It’s wood! A wooden floor!!
Liz: Okay, don’t get carried away. Him downstairs will hear!
Liz: Well, he might get upset.
Liz: He wouldn’t come up when you’re here. I’d get it. I always do.
Tom: Liz. Do not let men into this flat when I’m out. You hear me?
Liz: Oh no, dear – I don’t let him in!
Tom: Good. And keep it that way!
Liz: … unless there’s nothing on telly.
Tom: Unless … What?
Liz: Well, I get bored if there’s nothing on.
Liz: Yes. Like now.
Liz: Really, my dear, if all you’re going to do is repeat –
Tom: Do not … I repeat, do not –
Liz: See what I mean, darling – you’re repeating yourself again.
Tom: I –
Liz: Yes, I know – I, I, I.
Tom: I think I’m going to go for a walk.
Liz: Yes, you do that my love. The Muppet Show is on soon.
Liz: It’s time to dah, de, dah, de. It’s time to dress up bright …
Tom: Where’s my left boot?
Liz: On the window-ledge in the study.
Liz: The window-ledge. I put a spider plant in it.
Tom: You did what?
Liz: Really, my dear, you must learn to listen more closely.
Tom: This is outrageous!!
Liz: If you say so, my dear. What time is it?
Liz: The time.
Tom: It’s … seven!
Liz: Oh good, just in time. Now do be quiet if you’re staying in.