A Load of Balls


Scene 1    The cloakroom desk at a charity ball

At a cloakroom desk, after the charity ball has finished. Jamie is standing behind the desk taking tickets and fetching coats etc. from a rail out of sight. Mr Lilly has a ticket but the coat is not on the rail.

Mr Lilly:      Darling, do be a sweetie and check for me again, there must be some mistake.

Jamie:           By all mean, Mr Lilly, Would you mind describing the coat?

Mr Lilly:      Well, it’s rather distinctive, my dear. Scarlet collar, vermillion buttons
and a rather intense shade of turquoise on the whole.

Jamie:           I’m not sure that …

Mr Lilly:        (interrupts) Just check. That’s all I ask … darling.

Jamie:            One moment, sir.

(JAMIE goes out of sight. Sound of coat hangers screeching across a rail.)

Mr Lilly:        Darling!

Jamie:             (JAMIES’s head appears from around corner) Yes, sir?

Mr Lilly:         What time do you finish work this evening, sweet child?

Jamie:             Ah. Well, after 12pm? When everyone has gone home?

Mr Lilly:         I’ll tell you what, sweet-pants, if you find my coat, why don’t you bring
it around to my address – here’s my card (hands JAMIE a card)

Jamie:              And if I don’t find it?

Mr Lilly:         Well, my little sugar-puff, do come anyway. I’ll be sure to reward you
handsomely for your sterling efforts.

Jamie:             (smiles) Well, I’ll try my best.

Mr Lilly:         I’m sure you will, my dear. I’m sure you will. (winks) Well, toodle-pip.
See you later, dear heart. (wriggles fingers)

Jamie:             Good night, Mr Lilly

Mr Lilly:         Oh, I’m sure it will be.

(Mr Lilly exits SL)

Sam:                (to next person in the queue) May I take your ticket, Madam?

Woman:         Certainly, young man – there you are.

(Lights fade)

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