Pythagorean Theorem

The relationship between the sides in a right-angled triangle can be expressed as a formula. Big whoop-de-doo, right? However, what you might not know is that Pythagoras founded a religion based on this, and other insights into the relationship between mathematics and the gods. Check out this quote of his: “Number is the ruler of forms and ideas, and the cause of gods and demons.”

But yeah, no – don’t rush out trying to find your nearest church – the movement didn’t last for very long. They were chased out of town, à la Frankenstein’s monster.

What lasted slightly longer was … Okay, enough – I confess, I’m at a dead end with this one – I have no more idea how to turn this into a Writing Tip than I have about the composition of the glue under the carpet-tiles beneath my feet.

So …

Here are 10 5 tips for writers who are struggling to do something worthwhile with their given topic:

1. Give it up and get a job digging holes in the road. Hey – don’t knock it as a career choice – people will always want holes. There’s nothing to beat the satisfaction of digging a trench across a freshly re-surfaced road and then partially filling it with the rubble you dug out, the remainder of which you must leave scattered in an untidy heap nearby, and then topping it off with a different grade of tarmac – leaving it slightly humped and uneven, just so that people will know you have been there. Call it a calling card, Keef.
2. Take a left turn and talk about something completely different. Instead of writing about theorems or calligraphical composition, instead talk about digging holes in the road. So long as people think that you are being deliciously ironic, or delightfully sardonic, it’ll all work out fine. There is evidence to suggest that of the twenty or so people that will Like this article, only about seven of those will actually read it, and of them only one or two will be reading every word (note to self: edit the reference to Likes so that it makes more sense in the book version).
3. Find inspiration by cracking your knuckles and looking out of the window. Yeah – guilty as charged – you found me out. Ha. But look on the bright side – it gave me number three on this list, and you’re still reading – right? Of course you are. If you were not then you would not be here to say no. Oh how I wish that I had taken Latin at school instead of German, then I would have been able to give you a phrase to illustrate my point. As it is, all I got is reductio ad absurdum. Hmm – that’ll do.
4. Beg for more time on the grounds that you’re poorly, sick and disabled. If you’re self motivated and unpaid (yes, I raised both hands) then this may not apply to you. You’ll notice that it is three days since I published anything worthwhile on my blog. There are many reasons for this, but because they are all really excuses, I won’t bore you with them. Okay – maybe just one: I did the Yorkshire Three Peaks Challenge on Friday and it was … rather challenging. I’ve added a write up to my blog, in case you’re interested. Don’t worry – I kept it brief: Blisters on my Blisters
5. Go back and change your remit from ten tips to five – just because you can. It’s my blog, I can do what I want – and that, my fine furry friends, is that. I can totally sympathise with Justin Bieber (or is it Justin Timberlake?) when he took the stance of refusing to pose for selfies with his fans, and I understand Kristen Stewart when she railed against fame and being owned by her fans on Oprah (I may have dreamed this). But the point is – I’m going to be me, and if you like me as I am, then all is well, but if not – there are lots and lots of fascinating blogs out there. Here endeth the Manifesto According to Robert C Day.

It’s silicon carbide. The carpet-tile glue is made from silicon carbide. Which is good, because I thought that glue was made from molten cows and horses. Yeah, I know – ew!