Snot

I was going to sub-title this article ‘101 reason why you shouldn’t blow your nose’ but I could only think of three:

  1. It grosses people out – particularly when there are lumps in it
  2. Good quality tissue paper is getting really expensive
  3. It’s a real shame to turn that beautiful, clean, white tissue into a soggy yellowish mess, especially when there’s more snot than you bargained for and it goes straight through and gets all-over your hand. Aw c’mon, don’t screw up your face like that – are you telling me that this never happened to you?!

But then I remembered an article I read a couple of months ago. Just talk amongst yourselves while I find it. And no – don’t wipe that on your trousers. Yes, I know they’re going in the wash tonight, but it isn’t tonight yet!  Eww!!

Oh boy – forget about snot, I’ve found something much better! Here are the top 7 news stories that Uncle Google brought up with the phrase ‘why you should never blow your nose’:

  • Men have forgotten how to belong. This is an hilarious (intentionally or not) article about the effects of religion on health (less stress, depression, suicide, anxiety, and substance abuse; more longevity, mental well-being, motivation and smugness). Told from the point of view of a secular Jew, this features such gems as “donkey drivers should have sex with their wives once a week, dictates the Mishnah, whereas it’s just monthly if you drive a camel” (who would have thought!) and “monthly no-touching is a genius way of maintaining sexual chemistry”. This is a genuinely clever and funny article with a very serious message.
  • Marcus Luttrell’s Savior, Mohammad Gulab, Claims ‘Lone Survivor’ Got It Wrong. This one is from Newsweek and you would normally need a subscription to be able to read it, but here’s a top tip: as the page loads, you get about 0.748863 seconds (approximately) to CTRL+A (select all) then CTRL+C (copy) before the screen is obliterated by the ‘Pay Money’ message. I then pasted the text into Notepad and read it from there. Anyhow – remember that movie ‘Lone Survivor’ featuring Marky Mark (minus his funky bunch) Wahlberg – well this is the skinny from the real lives behind the movie. Important take away point? “When he came to, the SEAL realized the blast had blown his pants off …” I just deleted the rest of the story unread, but hey – good to know – right?
  • Dance Moms Reunion Recap: One Last Good-Bye. This is an absolutely riveting (yes – sarcasm), 1,159 word, blow-by-blow account of the first three minutes of the latest episode of ‘Dance Moms Reunion’ featuring such breath-taking lines as “Abby sobs when they (sic) footage of her late mother and dog.” I was reading this thinking ‘I do not know these people’ nor had I ever heard of this show. As I scrolled towards the end I was anticipating that there would be 1 comment (from the author’s Mom saying what a wonderful article it was and could she pick up some milk on the way home), but blow me if there weren’t 182 comments there. I shall say no more – just in case you’re a fan.
  • 14 things only hay fever sufferers will understand. If you suffer from hay fever, you’ll have read and understood this already. If not – then you will not be interested at all. Enough said.
  • Mom’s video of ‘swimming’ baby sparks controversy. Woman throws baby in a pool and it doesn’t drown because it is born with ‘natural instincts at that age to turn over’. Old news, surely. More than enough said.
  • ‘Ni hao’ to good manners abroad. One from the ‘Irish Medical Times’ that needs a subscription (see above for how to get around this) but is absolutely essential if you’re planning to travel abroad. It’s basically a set of tips on how not to offend ‘people in their own countries’ (previously known as ‘foreigners’). I’ll not steal the thunder of this article by sharing too much, but here’s one I already knew: “In some countries it’s polite to eat with your hand. Just make sure it’s your right hand and never use your left. In those countries, food is eaten with the right hand and the left hand is reserved for wiping certain parts of your anatomy.” Ooo, I just found half a banana on my desk (not as random as it sounds – it was left over from lunch) and guess which hand I’m now eating it with!
  • What your snot can tell you about your health. I didn’t even click on this one. I didn’t have to. My snot is all the colours of the rainbow at the moment – hence the subject of this article. No, the thing that caught my eye about this was in the summary: “Related: 18 Things You Should Never Put In Your Vagina” I’ll leave you with that mental picture. You’re welcome!

Oh no – tragedy has struck – I just ate the last piece of that scrumptious banana without noticing it. You know the feeling – when you go for a bite and realise that it’s all gone! Forlorn and empty – right? Just like you feel now that this article has finished.

Go on – read it again – you know you want to!

 

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66 thoughts on “Snot

      • You totally crack me up – I’m hardly on a health kick. I love my dark chocolate and pizza too much. But I do love my green tea as well, call me a hippie if you like! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Absolutely! Just finished a very delish thai meal, enjoyed a short strong coffee and had my fix of Lindt dark chocolate … I’m a very happy woman, whoops, hippy! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • One World!! It’s worse when you’ve got family all around the world. When your phone wakes you up with an evil burring against the tabletop at 2am and it’s a message from the US and they’re, like – ‘but why are you asleep at dinner time?!’

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s alright – I know how old and young you are (approximately) being as I’ve seen your photographs and those of your 18 year old daughter.
        Believe me, it makes no difference what age you are in this realm. I spent part of the morning chatting to a 75 year old lady who is as sharp as a tack and rather talented too, then another part chatting to a bloke who was bemoaning (in a very engaging and comical fashion) the failings of his mind and body on reaching a certain age. Then I spent some time with a 15 year old with a unique and lovely perspective of her own before crossing many seas and lands to chat with yourself in the Land of Oz (can I say that?).
        The blogosphere is a truly wonderful place with as much variety and magic as you could possibly wish for!
        Speech over. 🙂
        But yes – it is rather nice and green around here at the moment. Spring is enacting that yearly miracle play of light, greenery, growth, warmth and love all over again. What’s the weather like over there, Miriam? 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • Beautifully said Robert and I couldn’t agree more. The Blogosphere is a truly amazing place for meeting like minded people of all ages. It’s another world which is rather addictive I have to say. The weather? Well it’s autumn here, the days are cooling down but still sunny. Right now it’s 12.30 and I really should be going to bed! And you? What are you up to?

        Liked by 2 people

      • Just getting ready for going home. It’s nearly 4pm so the end of working day here.
        It’s about 10 degrees C outside so I could really do with my jeans back! 😀
        You’re right about the addiction though! There’s something about meeting nice people that’s really habit forming.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I’m feeling good. A nice relaxing home day today doing ordinary stuff like washing and baking. But when the sun’s shining and the sky’s blue even the ordinary stuff seems so much better. Hope you have an awesome day Robert.
        Right now, it’s getting dark and thoughts turn to dinner. Hmm, do I cook or do we call for pizza? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I hope you went for pizza! I love pizza!! Not that this has anything to do with anything being as you’re on the other side of the world and are probably (certainly) fast asleep as I type this. We went out for lunch and it was very tasty (spicy) so dinner is going to be minimal.
        I’ll avoid telling you that Sheffield Wednesday (my football team) won last night in the first leg of their play-offs for promotion to the top tier of English football because it may not be your thing, but YAAAYYYY!!!! all the same. 😀
        Good morning if you just woke up – it’s going to be a beautiful day!

        Liked by 1 person

      • YAY for Sheffield winning! So I gather you celebrated their big win, how awesome. Yes you’re right Robert, I’m just waking up here but no, we didn’t end up having pizza. Had steak on the barbecue instead. I’m still jn bed now, a lazy Sunday morning. Hope you have a good night.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m up and about and (whoa – someone is peeing in my head! – in the bathroom above me I should hasten to add) washed and dressed (in my backup jeans and t) and ready to go to the car boot sale. Books, books, books! 😀
        How are you spending your Sunday, Miriam?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Glad you added that last bit, about the peeing I mean. I was starting to get worried about you Robert. 🙂 My Sunday’s been nice. Spent it out in the garden, then went to the shops with the hubbs, quiet time reading back at home, then out to feed the horse … nothing too exciting but nice. Now I’ve just finished dinner and settling back for a relaxing night. And you? Books sounds great! 🙂 Enjoy that car boot sale.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ha! Only just starting to get worried about me?! Wow – have I become my parents already? The car boot sale was fab! Picked up 7 books and got talking to someone who’s going to get me into an advertising scheme that’s going to make me £225,000 a year (just had to laugh because I forgot to switch to numbers and I typed ‘going to make me wet’ before I could stop myself). Anyways – she tells me it’s definitely not a scam! And she promises to give me access to her collection of books if I sign up. Let’s see. 🙂
        I’m in a talk now and so have to stop. Especially as my wife is on stage at the mo.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, it all sounds interesting, though by the time I type this everything will be different! Time zones suck. 😦 But, sounds like you had a good day. 7 books will keep you out of trouble and wow, the scheme sounds good. Just tread carefully. Let me know how it all goes. Have a good night, Robert, it’s my Monday morning now … weekend over, another week begins!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Happy Mondays, Miriam! 🙂
        Decided not to go with that get rich scheme. Looked it up and everyone says it is a Ponzi Scheme and that they have difficulty cashing in. Hey-ho.
        I have a headache today. Working too hard or something. Sigh.
        It’ll be gone tomorrow, though. Hey wait – it is tomorrow already (where you are) and my headache promptly vanished in a puff of logic (I wish).

        Liked by 1 person

      • Happy Tuesday (here) so hopefully by now your headache’s well and truly gone. Yeah, I did wonder about the book scheme, you know what they say, if something seems too good to be true … still, no harm checking it out.
        Have a good day, or night Robert 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m falling behind you! You’re on Wednesday now I guess. Sigh. I’m leaning against the outside wall of my house – it’s much too nice to go in. I’m thinking of the sky – cloudy and overcast but still warm. I’m thinking of Australia in the middle of the night. Do you get nocturnal noises? Like insects and animals I hasten to add! 🙂 I’m thinking of the nature of time and I’m thinking about Elvis Presley (I often wondered how my mind worked and I just caught it working right there – thinking -> Thin King – >The King – > Elvis).
        Boom – all the lights go on and creation is revealed to me in all her glory – right? 😀
        Oh, and yeah, my headache is gone, but I have a new one in its place. It’s just the cold turkey – I stopped eating sugar 8 days ago.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh Robert, no sugar for 8 days … I am seriously impressed. How are you doing? I did it for a month a couple of years ago to support my daughter but now I’m back to normal. I should cut back though. This morning I’ve woken up with a headache. The skies are still pitch black here. It’s nearly 7am and I have to get my butt into gear to get my son to school. And then later onto Zumba. No Elvis music there though! 🙂 Have a good day/night/whatever …

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m doing okay actually. Apart from headaches for a couple of days (which are gone) I actually feel a lot better and brighter than I did. I seem to have a different kind of energy too. Sugar gives me energy, but it’s a kind of nervous energy that turns to irritation pretty quickly. But this (sugar free) energy seems to be more sustainable and less friable. It feels good.
        Then I get the feeling – oh, I’m strong enough now to be able to cope with one little chocolate bar and so I eat it, and then I eat another one and so it goes.
        Zumba sounds like fun! I went to a disco a couple of weeks ago when we went to Iona, and it was enormous fun dancing to some of those old tunes and some of the new ones. No Elvis there either – what a coincidence! 🙂
        Daughter and son. Are they life changing things? No children myself.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Keep at it with the sugar free choice Robert, sounds like it’s doing you good. I don’t think I’d have the willpower cos with hubby, daughter and son all having it there’s too much temptation around me. Slack aren’t I? I try and keep it all to moderation but like you said, when you start …
        As for that disco, well, what can I say, I just LOVE dancing which is probably why I love zumba so much. Today was a tough workout though. We had a different instructor and she was more about the exercises than the dance moves. Aaaagh! I’m a bit sore tonight. 😦
        As for my kids, life changing? Hell, yes. Exhausting, you bet? Would I change a thing. Absolutely not. 🙂 One day, if you choose that path, you’ll know for yourself Robert. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for your kind words, Miri – if you could see me now, you would see that I am smiling as I read through your words.
        Your family is obviously very important to you. I love that they are so close to you and such an integral part of your thoughts as you go through the day.
        Slack? Nah!! You are tight in all the right places – love, honesty, sweetness, intelligence, creativity. And you have a great pair of legs! (otherwise you would not be able to keep up with the zumba) 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, you make me blush … and I don’t blush very often! 🙂
        Yes, my family is very important to me and I love them to bits, but they also drive me crazy. But then, that’s life isn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hey Robert, I’m well. The sun’s gone down here, we’ve eaten dinner and just settling back for the night. Hope you have a great day, enjoy that English sunshine. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Right now it’s nearly 8pm, it’s pitch black outside and light rain has just started falling. I love the rain at night. It’s so calming. Especially when I’m tucked up and cosy inside. Hopefully by morning it’ll stop and the sun will be out. That would be nice. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I have to say that blowing your nose is better than letting snot dribble down your chin. As for hay fever… YUCK! I have it bad right now. Thank Heavens for Claritin and allergy eye drops. I don’t sneeze often… I just have an annoying cough cause by a tickle in my throat. And, yes, I blow my nose when it’s full of snot. :p

    Liked by 3 people

    • You should try ear drops – it’ll do wonders for all of that. Ears Nose Throat – all connected – most people forget that.
      No, wait – don’t scoff like you know all there is to know about the world – just try it once.
      If that doesn’t work, try sucking salt water up your nose and spitting it out of your mouth. Don’t be tempted to try unsalted water – it stings like crazy!
      Aw c’mon – where’s your spirit of adventure, Orpha! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve never tried ear drops. Interesting idea. I do, however, do the salt water up the nose thing but use a Neti pot. Those have been around for a very long time. The water goes in one nostril and out the other then I switch sides. I gargle with salt water as well. Yup, ears, nose and throat are interconnected as are the sinus cavities. We have quite a few of those. The Neti pot thing rinses the sinuses and is also very good if you are trying to get a sinus infection. Once I went to my doctor to confirm that all I had was a nasty cold. He started telling me all about the salt rinse and I told him I already did that. I mentioned the salt water gargles and he said that was the other part of the treatment. The tricky thing about ears is that they are involved with allergies and that can cause vertigo…. not to be confused with dizziness. The semicircular canals can get stuffed up and then your sense of balance is all off. That is most unpleasant. I have had bouts of that (during allergy season) and I had to hold on to the wall in order to walk. I staggered like a drunken sailor on shore leave. Vertigo is most unpleasant. Yeah I said that once but it just is. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Neti pots sound like a much neater idea than water cupped in the hand – I’ll have a look for one of those – thanks very much, Orpha!
      You are so full of good interesting stories and useful advice – it’s such a pleasure for me that you come here to share them, my friend. 🙂
      My wife never ceases to be amused by and tell the story of how I fell out of bed when we stayed in a hotel once. I rolled over in the night expecting their to be bed to roll onto, but unfortunately it wasn’t as wide as ours at home and … clunk – I was on the ground! Nothing to do with vertigo, but still. Luckily, she was asleep on the one occasion I did fall down. I was asleep in my own bed, the alarm went off, I got up to turn it off, walked two paces and … the only way I can describe it is that I just fell asleep again. I went over like I was poleaxed (in the same way as a felled tree) and woke up a second later on the floor, unharmed but very embarrassed. Don’t tell my wife, I wouldn’t want to give her another humorous anecdote – she was blissfully asleep through the whole thing. 🙂

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  3. I have never actually fallen out of bed due to vertigo. It’s more like the bed is flipping over and I feel like I’m going to. Since the bed really isn’t doing that I don’t fall. Falling asleep suddenly and falling isn’t a good thing but if it’s only the one time I wouldn’t worry about it. There is this thing called narcolepsy that could cause you to fall asleep suddenly like that but on a one time basis I don’t think it was that. I don’t know your wife so I surely won’t tell her a thing. I wouldn’t anyway. I’m like that, seriously. If someone says not to tell my lips are sealed. Shouldn’t be too hard to track down a Neti pot. It’s way better that snuffling water from your hand.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Agreed about the Neti pot. I was in town today but I forgot about it completely. Hey-ho.
      No – it was definitely the one time. It was totally my fault for trying to walk about when I was really still asleep.
      Thanks for your discretion, Orpha – most appreciated. 🙂

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