developing your plot line

“Hello James – I’m on the bus. Meet me at the terminus.”

There was a brief pause as she listened to his reply.

“Yes, yes, alright. I’ll see you there then.”

She snapped the phone shut and slid it inside her bag, pushing the small Pekinese to one side as she did so.”

‘Terrorist.’ I decided.

I had been watching her for a while now. Trailing her along the leafy avenue as she strode along purposefully, dog filled bag bouncing at her hip. Furtively watching her as she waited at the bus stop in her too bright, too red sweater. Counting my coins jealously as I paid the bus driver, half an eye on the dog as it rubbed its red bow against the zipper of the bag and half on the woman as she stared out of the window with a show of innocence.

‘Genius move. Packing explosives into a real live dog. Who’s going to suspect that?’ My thoughts were fixed and intense.

It had taken me a while to figure out why someone like her – richly dressed and well-spoken should be carrying a Pekinese from a quiet street in the suburbs, right to the heart of a busy Shopping Centre. There was only one explanation – she was going to blow it to kingdom come.

As the bus approached the terminus, I wondered briefly what sick and twisted ideology had taken root in her mind to cause her to do such an insane thing.

No worry though. The terrorist squad would sort her out. I slipped the trusty Nokia out of my pocket as we stood to exit the bus, and dialed 999.

She stepped off the bus and I hung back briefly as I spoke quietly into the phone: “Bomb Squad.”

There he was – her evil accomplice. She kissed him once on the cheek and hooked her arm through his as they set off towards the bus station exit.

I trailed behind, whispering into the phone. “I want to report some terrorist activity. I’m at the main bus station in High Chinkley and I have the perp in sight and yes, I’ll stay on the line.”

I gripped the phone tightly in my hand and as I trailed the couple down the street, my arms swinging nonchalantly.

They turned the corner and I hurried to catch up. They wouldn’t lose me so easily. As I reached the edge of the building I became aware of a faint squawking sound coming from the phone and I raised it again to my ear. Peering slowly around the building I was just in time to see them disappear into a building.

“Gotcha!” I said as I heard the person on the phone asking for my exact location. “Sorry – one sec.”

I hurried towards the building, eager now to do my duty. Eager to save countless lives. In a fierce voice I read out the white letters on the light blue sign above the door: “They’re at the High Chinkley Veterinary Clinic in … oh, wait!”


10 thoughts on “developing your plot line

  1. Best unreliable narrator ever! I do hope such paranoid fatheads don’t really exist.
    And I very much like the switched point of view – you’ve kept the first person perspective, but you’ve changed the observer – and here’s a brand new story. I’ll definitely have to try that some time!


    • He’s just slightly confused – bless his little cotton socks. Persistent offender though – he calls 999 so often that he has to withhold his number – otherwise he is barred from using the service. 😉


  2. Ah – now I understand what unwashed getting confused about – I thought that your post was on the story about the guy writing the beggar’s life story. Yes – you’re perfectly correct Amrita – a psycho in a do-gooder’s clothes.


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