editing practice

Ya’ll might think them clouds is black, but this bleeding heart ‘a’ mine is a darker pit of rot and shame. I’m gonna get me some fun now – my pretty gun’s gonna stomp y’all right down to hell.


(and before you get worried that I’ve gone nuts – this is just the result of an editing exercise where we are asked to reduce the following to just 2 lines:
‘The heavy black and blue winter sky groaned awfully with rain clouds that at any moment were really about to fall crashing heavily down upon the street where, because it was rush hour, so many people, wearing all manner of different clothes, hats, shoes, boots, some of them carrying bags, suitcases, briefcases, scampered and strolled about the place as though oblivious to what was just about to happen over their very heads. One of these people was called Hilary and concealed inside her voluminous coat she carried the loaded, snub-nosed gun, and she also seemed to be the only one looking upwards into the tempestuous thundery heavens.’)